I saw my boss's boss make a face

Context
My boss's boss came to my cubicle to invite me to a meeting today. When I asked questions regarding duration and agenda, she said, "I don't know," and made a "why are you asking me questions" face.

Commentary
"Perceived" sounded too pompous. We'll just deal with the fact that sometimes "What I Saw Today" will encompass "What I Heard Today."

My boss's boss's reaction (is that a fun phrase, or what?) to my inquiries made me ponder what causes us not to want to hear questions. I think I've broken it down to three basic reasons:

1) We don't know the answer, and we think we should. I think this fit the situation today. This is sad, because I thought "I don't know" was a perfectly reasonable response, but it seemed to make my b.b. unhappy to have to say it.

2) We think the questioner doesn't actually care about the answer to the question. In other words, he/she's trying to provoke a reaction, not being genuinely curious.

3) We know the answer and we're uncomfortable giving it. When we hear the question, we respond by saying something like, "I was afraid you were going to ask that."

I'm wondering if we can get over having a unfavorable reaction to questions. I'd like to accomplish this both because I think questions are generally a good form of communication and because I frequently have all the responses listed above.

Just to let myself off 1/3 of the hook, I'll say I don't think the #3 reaction can be vanquished. It's never going to be pleasant to say, "no, I'm really not interested in dating you anymore," or "it's going to take $500 to fix this and your warranty has expired."

Reaction #1 begs a flippant answer: just make sure you know everything you think you're supposed to know. OK, not likely. How about: become more comfortable with your ignorance? That's better, but still not wholly satisfying. After all, maybe you'd be perfectly OK with saying "I don't know," but you think your questioner expects you to have all the answers. Isn't this why we're so reluctant to admit our ignorance when questioned by a little kid? I mean, we're adults, haven't we had time to learn everything yet? Um, no. The best thing about questions, particularly little kid questions, is that they open up the possibility of learning more if we choose to.

And then there's reaction #2. If we're correct about our questioner's motivation, then we have every right to be unhappy with the question. The problem that frequently happens in my life is assumption of provocation where none was intended. What if I were to treat every question as if it were asked in good faith? Does it actually do any harm to act this way even if someone is actually trying to get your goat?

I am a fashion nightmare. It would be easier to if I could just say I don't care about clothes, but that's not true. I care deeply about my clothing, and my opinion about what looks good is different from just about everyone else on the planet. When I was in middle school and sensitive about such things, fashionistas would look at my outfit and say, "are you in a play?" This would cause the usual adolescent angst on my part, but what if my answer had been, "no, but if I was, I'd be sure to let you know. Thanks for asking."?

If we do that, the insulting person will think we were ignorant of their intent. We'll look like we didn't know something we were supposed to. In that case, refer to reaction #1. Although why we would want to learn more about how evil people can be is beyond me.

What did you see today?