I saw a stereotype

Context
I was perusing my library's catalog again, and this time I came across a book called Are All Guys Assholes?, by Amber Madison. It's described as an effort to answer this particular question by asking guys themselves about their behavior and attitudes.

Commentary
Please understand, looking over catalog entries is part of my job. I don't just troll around looking for blog material. Besides, this book actually looks like something I might read, if only because I'm fascinated by how people see themselves and others.

That being said, I'll ask this: is sexism the prejudice that just won't die? Most of the people I know wouldn't dream of lumping all African-Americans, all homosexuals or all Muslims into one category, but they will cheerfully say all men are obsessed with sex and all women are obsessed with shoes.

I think our sexuality exacerbates the problem. Straight people are obliged to try to attract people who are different from them, often in puzzling and frightening ways. This is not just "I have to get along with this person at work or on the street;" it's "I want this person to spend a considerable amount of time naked with me." So we'll look for any clue to help us navigate the weirdness, even the false security of a stereotype.

There's a scene in The American President where the titular character is talking with his tweenaged daughter about an upcoming date. She tells him that if he can't think of anything to say, he should compliment the woman's shoes. It's sound advice; you can rarely go wrong complimenting a woman's shoes, just as you can rarely go wrong offering a man sex. What makes it funny is that a non-fetishistic guy would rarely notice a woman's shoes (My husband only remarks on mine when I'm wearing impractically high heels or sandals in what passes for wintertime in Shreveport). The same thing is true of women, not because we rarely think about sex, but because we are constantly amazed by how high it ranks in a man's thought processes.

So the stereotypes are true, right? Well, sort of. I think there are general differences between men and women, some of them having nothing to do with either shoes or sex. And I think those differences are what both attract and confound us, if we happen to be of a heterosexual orientation. What worries me is how these differences affect our relationships, both intimate and otherwise.

Take the workplace. Does sexual harassment originate because we don't realize that gender differences are not usually relevant when people are trying to earn a paycheck? To put it crudely, this is not the place where you're supposed to pay attention to the fact that I have breasts. You're supposed to notice that I have a keen eye for cataloging mistakes.

And once you get past the initial attraction phase, it's not fair to treat your favorite guy as if he's an out-of-control horndog all the time, if only because you'll find yourself never speaking civilly to another woman again. Differences are fun, fascinating, and maybe even complementary, but your similarities are the glue that will keep you together. Besides, if you've singled him out, he must be different from all other guys, right? What good are the stereotypes then?

What did you see today?